Control - or lack thereof

So Nina has decided to eat again, at least for the last few days. I really try not to hound her about it (am fearful of creating some wacky food issue), but it's very hard to keep myself from constantly waving spoonfuls (spoonsful?) of food in front of her face. I think I do it too much, and she refuses food just because I'm trying to get her to eat. So I made a resolution to quit the nagging, but it's very hard. Amy's pediatrician told her that her only job is to put nutritious food in front of the baby, not to make her actually eat it. Good advice, but easier said than done, especially if you have a kid who hovers in the 5th percentile for weight!

Nina is getting into a phase where she wants to be in control of everything - what she does, what everyone else does or doesn't do. It's hard to know what battles to pick. As endearing as she truly is, I am tired of having her demand things of me every moment - More noodles! More bubbles! More doggies! More! More! More! So we implemented a plan to at least get her to say please when she demands something. To me she sounds so rude with all the MORE MORE MORE, although when I stop to think about it, of course she has no concept of rudeness. So for a day or two we battled over the saying Please, and now she says it all the time, especially when her gratification is delayed. As in:

Nina: More cookie!

Mama: You can have a cookie in just a second, after I finish putting the dishes in the sink.

Nina: PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

As if the Please will magically cause the cookie to appear. I'm hearing her say it to other kids who refuse to share, also. Peeeeeeeeeeeees!

I have also instituted a No Standing Up in the Tub rule, which only makes sense, but she of course wants to test that one out as well (over and over). She knows that if she won't stay seated, the bath is over and she comes out. Tonight she stood up about 50 times to test this out, each time saying, "All done taking bath." And when I said, "Okay, I see you standing up, and that means the bath is over," and I'd reach for the towel, of course back down goes the tushie - "More bath Nina!!" Sigh.

The sitting in the tub rule is about as strict as I find myself getting. So far I have wimped out on issues such as No Spilling of Drinks, and No Throwing Food on the Floor. The score is something like Nina 75, Mama 2. I've been observing parents on both ends of this spectrum - folks who appear to be overly harsh and rigid with their rules and punishments, and then parents who to my eyes don't provide reaction, reinforcement or redirection when it seems clearly called for. Hard to find that balance.

And in the end, sometimes an 18 month old in control isn't such a bad thing, after all. Tonight as I was trying to clean up from dinner, Nina insisted that I dance and spin with her - "More spinning Mama! More spinning Nina!"

She won that one, hands down. Spinning beats doing dishes every time.